This will be forever.
04:20 AM.
I woke up too early in the morning. My muddled head was filled with regrets of staying up too late. It was dark and cold, this morning. It'll probably rain again.
Dazedly, I felt around the sheets for my phone. There it is. I fumbled with the keypad and managed to turn off the alarm.
Why did I set it this early anyway? It's the weekend for heaven's sake. I groaned. My head felt like the night before a deadline.
What the hell did I do last night? I wondered vaguely, and buried my head in a pillow.
09:08 AM.
“And if this is your final destination, ladies and gentlemen, welcome home.” the pilot greeted from the speakers.
We just landed, and outside beyond the wide runway was a festival of concrete, where an endless wall of roads and skyscrapers covered the horizon. It was a strange place. This is not my last stop. Still, as the plane slowed to a halt, I felt home.
10:32 AM.
The taximeter says exactly three hundred pesos. I paid up, thanked the good driver, took up my bag, and groggily stepped out of the cab. Solid ground at last.
I walked towards the door of the dormitory. I’m here, finally. I made it. Of course, she’s not here. She’s somewhere busy figuring out numbers on a paper.
I must get to that somewhere.
Where’s Jenny?
05:55 AM.
My flight! I bolted awake.
I stared at the clock on my phone. I should be at the airport thirty minutes ago.
Sunlight was filling my room. I noticed my traveling bag all packed, ready to go, and impatiently waiting on my study table. So that's what I was doing last night. Packing. Jeez.
No time to think. I jumped out of the bed, snatched my towel and rushed to the bathroom.
09:23 AM.
They're not picking up.
I sat at the large airport lobby hopelessly looking outside. I had just done trying to call everybody I knew here. It's weekend morning, nobody's awake.
I sighed. No choice. I have to do this on my own. I took out my wallet. Let's see now. Three hundred pesos. And a twenty. This should be enough for a taxi I guess. I caught a glimpse of her photograph in my wallet. Unfathomable eyes. Full cherry lips. She knocks me out every time. I grinned.
Not too long now, sweet.
“Let’s do this,” I whispered with newfound conviction.
I picked up my bag and briskly walked to the exit.
06:23 AM.
“How much money you got?!” My brother shouted over the wind as we rushed across streets on his motorcycle.
“I got enough for the airport fees, don't worry!” I shouted back.
“Good! You got money left after the airport?!”
I blanked. I haven't exactly thought of that.
“ATM!” he shouted, pulled the breaks, and rushed into a U-turn.
10:42 AM.
“Kuya!” someone called.
It’s Jenny! Everybody calls her Jenmac actually. But I’d like to call her Jenny in my head. It’s sweeter, which fits this girl perfectly. Seeing her then, that far from home, completely cheered me up; like finally finding the way back after being lost for a long time.
“Jen! It’s good to see you!”
She hugged me, I hugged back, and I felt tension start to leave my system. I have made it. I’m really here. And right then, I knew everything will be perfectly alright.
09:42 AM.
I was in a yellow cab cruising on an overpass passing along skyscrapers.
That wasn’t too difficult, was it? I just went out of the airport lobby, walked some, followed a few signs, (which said something like, “Taxicabs here. Come and be saved!”) Then I waited in this very short line and, voilà! I’m in a yellow cab to my destination. Easy.
I got with me a grand total of three hundred AND twenty pesos. That's probably way more than enough to get to anywhere, right? I'm pretty good at this first-time-going-on-my-own-in-the-big-city thing. Maybe I'll reward myself some ice cream after this, a cup or pint maybe. Hey, let’s see how many delicious ice cream we can get by calculating our change. He he.
“Say, mister. Around how much will this ride cost?” I asked the taxicab driver excitedly.
“Oh, about four hundred pesos, sir.”
I screamed alright.
06:44 AM.
It's useless. The rotten luck bunny had a field day.
“No luck,” my brother concluded, seeing my face as I hurriedly stepped out of the third ATM booth we scrambled into. “Hey. I got cash here. You can have them, if you like.”
“Man, that'd be great!” I answered, relieved. “I'll pay the moment I get back, I promise. How much you got?”
“Three hundred. And a twenty.”
“Thanks! That should be more than enough for a cab. You’re the best, bro!”
“Here. You pay triple in interest.”
“Wah?!”
“Kidding. You sure you’re good with three C's? We can go try one more.”
I put the cash in my wallet, and grinned. I’m coming home, sweet.
“No need. I’m good. Already late. Airport.”
He nodded and the motorcycle engine roared to life.
“Let’s roll.”
09:43 AM.
“No problemo, sir,” said the taxicab driver cheerily. I just explained to him why he might end up giving me a couple of miles free ride (or wrestling me out of the cab.)
“I’ll get us there with three hundred pesos,” he assured with a grin.
“Really? Thank you!”
Hallelujah for golden-hearted taxicab drivers! I’m actually given a free ride! I thought.
Then, my phone rang. It was Jenny calling! I hurriedly answered.
Jenny told me she got my message earlier, and she can help me get around. I thanked her a hundred times.
“Jen, will she be there?”
“I don’t think so, kuys. It’s still morning. They’re probably still taking the exams.”
“I see. Hey Jen, is it OK if you take me where she’s taking the exams?”
“Sure. Just meet me at the dormitory, ‘k?”
I thanked Jenny a hundred times more. She’s such a nice girl. I so owe her one. Maybe I should tell the world how sweet she is or something.
“By the way, sir,” started the driver as I put down my phone. “It would be best if you put on your seat belts.”
And the taxicab rocketed through the highway.
06:49 AM.
“Check-in time closed.”
The airline guy pointed at a notice that pretty much told me I’m too late.
“But I really need this flight,” I beseeched.
“I’m sorry, sir. It’s policy.”
“Come on. Please. Look. Have you ever been lucky enough to have met a beautiful girl, who, when she smiles, just brightens you up like nothing in this sad lonely world ever did? And if you have, wouldn't you just do everything, defy anything, just to see her smile that smile again?”
The airline guy paused, stared at me. Panting and sweating all over, I must’ve been some sight.
“OK,” he said taking my papers. “Next time, earlier.”
YES!
A couple of minutes later, I took out my phone and keyed-in a message to my brother waiting outside: Got in. Thanks for the assist. Give my love to Mom.
He replied: No prob. BTW, in case of pressure, chew gum.
I chuckled and hurried into the boarding area.
11:32 AM.
We’re on a jeep going to that school where she is. Almost there, sweet.
“How do you know forever anyway?” I remembered Jenny asked at lunch earlier.
It got me wondering, as I stared outside at the blur of people and buildings, and things unrecognizable. It’s a totally different world here. I wonder if she’s different. Will I recognize her still?
Yes. Forever. How do you know it? How can you know it enough to promise it in a world of constant change? They say, love is forever, but how exactly do you know that love stays when those who speak it and are spoken to by it never stay the same? Where time wearies all that is made by the hands of men to endure, how do you know forever?
“We’re almost there, kuys,” Jenny told me.
“Hey, Jen. I’ll pay,” I said, waving my hand insistently.
I took out a twenty and passed it up to the driver. As I closed my wallet, I caught her picture again. Eyes. Lips. Her head tilted curiously, an expression far too sweet for her own good.
I smiled. And then, I knew.
07:00 AM
I crashed on a bench, dropped my bag, and heaved a huge one. Ah, respite.
The boarding area was already filled with people -- many walked about, some nodded off trying to catch sleep; most were just staring at the runway, waiting for that plane that will take them away.
I crossed my arms and laid back.
Funny how things never really end up how you thought they would. You could plan as much as you want but you’ll never really get what you planned for – not exactly.
I stared at a kid staring intently at the runway. He was seated farther ahead with arms folded and little feet swaying. He sighed and his entire body went up and down.
Although, I guess preparing is not really about knowing absolutely everything that will happen. I mean, what would be the fun in that? You know what, I think the unknown, no matter how it generally tries to be as scary as possible, is really this fun, exciting thing in the inside. That’s the stuff of adventure, right? Going someplace not knowing what’s there; discovering the unknown. And when you prepare for an adventure, it’s really all about telling yourself that, no matter how much you have no idea what’s in store for you, you’re sure that, at the end of it all, you’ll find what you set out for. And I think that magnificent thought —that faith— is really what makes it so.
I heard the rising roar of jet engines as the plane landed on the runway. I saw the kid jumped up and pointed at the plane as it zoomed pass the boarding area. He was tugging his mother’s arm, talking excitedly, and eyes laughing in pure wonder. I caught myself laughing as I stood up, shouldered my bag, and walked towards the runway.
And faith, I think, definitely makes the best stories.
10:00 AM
I chuckled to myself as I tried to relax at the back of the cruising taxicab.
And I’m saved, again.
There are really times when I just know that, when I get myself into some trouble, something would always happen and, just like that, I’m out; and that’s without me even putting much effort to try to get out of the situation. It’s like I have this eternal “Get out of trouble” card that I take out and everything just turns out alright. But more than that, it always feels like I’m being constantly guided, like everything is laid out before me, and all I have to do was to just set out and go – to just say, yes.
I looked out; at billboards filled with color, at cars with people seemingly still, at soaring buildings with glass windows reflecting morning sunlight. We passed this huge bridge and I saw a vast sea; calm and endless.
I closed my eyes and whispered a heartfelt thank you.
I think everybody is always being saved. All it takes is to say yes to see it.
12:00 PM
I waited for her at that small cafeteria. It was quiet here, with only the whisper of conversations and the occasional twitter of birds in those two giant trees farther away.
“Ate is probably somewhere at the top floors, kuys,” Jenny said pointing up at the school building across us.
“Soon now.” Jenny smiled reassuringly. I smiled back.
I looked out to the trees at the sound of another twitter. I thought then that everything in this place – the entire campus, that school building, this cafeteria, the wooden table I’m leaning on – may all ruin down and disappear forever, and still those trees will stay. They’ll stay because when everything around them passes to the unrelenting will of time, they will just grow. It’s as if they simply fated themselves to remain no matter what happens around them, and somehow, just like that, they will.
I closed my eyes. I felt the softness of her hair, the touch of her skin, like an endless summer field; that sweet scent of gentle breeze and soft rain; that voice of sunshine and perfect dreams that linger. I felt home. And that smile. Ah, she always has that smile.
“Kuys, there she is!”
I opened my eyes and looked up. I saw those darling eyes looked back at mine. They were sort of misty then. It made me worry that she might be crying or something. I saw those compellingly immaculate lips, slowly forming into a smile. There she was.
I was the happiest man on earth.
And again, I’ll always know.
- - - - - - - -
concluded, June 15, 2010
